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smoke cocaine off my butt

England: “Fantastic. Cheerio, America.”
America: “Yeah. Fruit Loops to you, too, dude.”

fartgallery:

readingaroundthemovies:

fartgallery:

i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches

Those r my mums initials…,

say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded

lifebyliz:

I can’t handle this dog.

nsfwjynx:

nottheoneicheckatwork:

kalynnemarie:

BREAKING NEWS: if you ever judge anyone based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had, you’re a complete imbecile.

I beg to differ.

If someone has had more than one hundred thousand sexual partners I will absolutely judge them because that is impressive as hell.

I was expecting that to go somewhere else than it did and I’m pleased with the ending

stoned-levi:

when ur mom comes home with the groceries

image

nawyougood:

theinternationalasshole:

Imagine having sex with a girl and she turns into a legit monster
Do you continue fucking her or do you run away?

does the pussy stay human pussy or does it become monster pussy? will she kill me if my stroke weak? if the condom breaks, will i create an x men baby? do monsters get the clap? its levels to this shit and i need answers.

septemberism94:

Usually don’t reblog condoms but hell yeah props to whoever came up with these

septemberism94:

Usually don’t reblog condoms but hell yeah props to whoever came up with these

melesbian:

If you’re feeling down, I’ll go down on you

rnalevolent:

ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened

vriskameenah:

vriskameenah:

OH MY GOD I JUTS FOUND ONE OF MY HORSE GRAPHICS FRO M WHEN I WAS LIKE 10

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wHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS M EAN ? ???

why must you laugh at my suffering